But when there is no time to wait for the return to calm? Time is running out, to go to school for example?
Anne-Claire Kleindienst : In a hurry, the best thing to do is to recognize that something is going wrong for the child, and that it's not fair bad will. But without forgetting the reality principle: we can remind him that the school will start soon, that we must leave, that it is time to do this or that. But also tell him that we can see that he is stuck. We can also explain that we are not in his body, in his head. So that we do not have the keys to understand what is blocking it, and that we need it to explain what is preventing it. In short, it helps us to help him.
On video - From "I do not want" or "I can not": understand the "no" of our children
And if the crisis occurs anyway?
Anne-Claire Kleindienst : A crisis situation can be useful if, after the slamming of doors, we can take back what happened to understand how we got there.
It must be kept in mind that even if he does not give us the signals, this child wants to grow up. It's just that he did not find the instructions, that sometimes, at times, it blocks. It is our role, parents, to allow it to free itself from its blockages. But without forgetting ours, our limits, our own sensitivity. It will take more than one attempt for things to improve. The important thing is to play down and look together in the mirror: "Do you remember how it was a year ago? Of course, there are still crises but it's much better, they are less strong ". This allows us to measure the progress made, bearing in mind that the goal is to be more in harmony with your child ... not to suppress all crises!
==> See also Anne-Claire Kleindienst's advice in the following articles
My child does not want to tidy his room!
My child does not want to do his homework!